


Distract & Sedate

by christinefromsherwood



Series: 007 Fest 2019 [13]
Category: James Bond (Classic movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Domestic, F/M, Humor, Married Life, They are married, also Olivia Mansfield is M, and happy, because Mallory is great, but she is the best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 00:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19897141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christinefromsherwood/pseuds/christinefromsherwood
Summary: “Tracy! TRACY!” Her husband’s voice rang through the house, and Tracy bit her lip and tightened her jaw to keep her face from smiling.“TERESA!” Oh, that meant he was really miffed.





	Distract & Sedate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Linorien](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Linorien/gifts).



> Tracy/Bond fic where no one dies; for Lin as I promised to write her a fic for her comment on _Acta non verba_ :D 
> 
> Sorry, Lin, if Tracy is too OC :) I hope you like it.
> 
> Anon prompt fill: Hozier lyrics generator
> 
> Warning: Bond getting drugged might be iffy for some… it’s in retrospect and he’s fine  
>  **Happy Bond Girl day, folks!**

“Tracy! TRACY!” Her husband’s voice rang through the house, and Tracy bit her lip and tightened her jaw to keep her face from smiling.

“TERESA!” Oh, that meant he was really miffed.

Tracy huffed out a small laugh and decided to get the matter over with.

He’d find her sooner, or later anyway. 

After all, she hadn’t taken any particular pains to hide and was lying quite openly on the sofa in their living room.

“There’s no one here by that name, my love!” she called out. Then she heard their bedroom door slam shut, and a low growl of an angry lion:

“Yes, there’s certainly no _Saint_ Teresas around here! Because no saint in the history of the entire world was crazy enough to think that the perfect way to spend an afternoon was DRUGGING HER HUSBAND AND STEALING THE JEWELS HE WAS GUARDING!”

The sound of James’s voice reverberated on the bathroom tiles.

Oh well, he couldn’t be truly upset, if he was bothering to wash his hands.

“I’ll have you know, my love,” she decided to answer calmly, “that some saints were all for gouging their own eyes out so I wouldn’t take them as an example of particularly sane behaviour.”

“M is going to have my head for this, you know.”

James stood in the doorway with his shirt-sleeves rolled up to his elbows and tiny droplets of water glistening on his neck and jaw.

Quite without her permission, Tracy found herself smiling at the sight of her husband. 

He truly was marvellously attractive.

“Oh no! Did something happen at work, James?” she asked innocently, widening her eyes for greater effect.

“You know perfectly well what happened.” James scrunched up his forehead at her and then began to walk slowly around the room, scanning every inch of it with his gaze.

Inwardly, Tracy shook her head at him.

As though she’d be foolish enough to hide the necklace here when she knew he was coming.

“My love, I can’t help you if you won’t tell me what’s happened!” she sighed out.

His eyes pierced her through and through.

Well, alright, maybe she was having far too much fun with this. But since little Emma was born she didn’t get to have fun often and was planning to squeeze every last bit out of this little affair.

James’s lips curved upward as though he had somehow managed to sense this.

“Have it your own way then.”

Tracy watched in dismay as he turned around, walked out the door and shut it behind him with a soft click.

“Shit.”

She _had_ gone too far!

She made to get up and follow him, when the door to flew open, and her husband strode into the room again.

“Honey! I’m home!” he called. “You will never guess what happened at work today!”

Tracy slapped a palm over her mouth as a loud and very unattractive snort escaped her. 

Then they stood silently for a moment, looking at one another and waiting who’d crack first.

“I will at least try... to guess…” Tracy got out eventually. James watched her with expectation sparkling in his eyes. “Did one of the 00s shoot themselves in the butt again?”

“Ha ha,” came dry as vermouth.

“Don’t look at me like that, love, you know it _has_ happened before.”

“Not this time, Trace, not this time.”

Dramatically, James fell on the sofa next to her and immediately turned so that his head ended up in her lap.

“Well, don’t keep me in suspense, James.” Her hands reached immediately into his perfectly combed hair.

“One of the senior agents, usually an extremely competent fellow, was sent to liaison with Five in the matter of guarding certain rather famous jewels from an international ring of thieves.” He paused and waited for her to contribute with her own part of the dialogue.

“Really?” Tracy filled her voice with wonder. “That sounds very tame and boring compared to your regular stories, my love.”

“Does it?” Again that dry tone. “Well, the whole matter will get complicated quite soon, dear. You see, the old fool went and told his wife about the whole thing.”

“Hmmm,” Tracy sighed. “That _was_ rather silly of him.”

“Was it? Yes, it seems it was. You see, Tracy, today the wife decided to bring the agent his lunch at work, a pair of delectable caviar sandwiches-”

“What a caring wife!” Tracy couldn’t stop herself from exclaiming, and immediately had to bite her lip again at the unimpressed look James shot her.

“…quite. Only she also went and drugged his sandwich and then, when he was completely out of it, and she stole the priceless jewels.”

“Oh dear!”

“Now why would she do that, what do you think?”

Tracy hummed as she ran her fingers through James’s hair.

“Well, maybe she wanted to make sure that the copy of the emeralds she had planned to sell via her father would be truly exact and perfect? Maybe she has a small daughter who she wants to start a trust fund for?”

“Tracy…” James sighed. “Where are the jewels?”

“If I were to guess,” Tracy said, meditatively. “I’d say on their way to their rightful owners somewhere over the South Atlantic?”

“You’re sure?” He raised his head to look her in the eyes.

“As sure as I can be.”

James shook his head.

“I hope you know that now M will definitely not give me the time off in December.”

Tracy scoffed.

“Not even for darling little Emma, her namesake, to go visit her old ailing grandfather in Corsica over the holidays?”

“Alright, you might have a point,” James conceded. “What did you give me by the way? I’ll have to recommend it to Q. It worked amazingly fast.”

Tracy smiled at her husband tenderly, and continued to play with his hair until the baby-sitter returned with her baby in time for dinner.


End file.
